It was the crowd, my husband called it. We picked up Bev, changed her into a costume at the marina, since we were expecting to get there early to ready the boat, so we might actually hit our 7:10 start with the rest of our class (Slow Boats Full of Drunks) - I'd called Dan earlier and had the combination to the cabin written on my arm. We were surprised to be met at the Mirus by Brian, the co-owner of the boat. We'd never met, but he seems very sweet and genuine. Sweet, goofy engineer type, like Dan, and my last husband. He told me that he'd bought the boat without ever having been on a sailboat.
Since Dan was running late (with good reason - he was doing the parental hand-off on Beacon Hill), we decided to wait, then Brian got a voicemail that Dan was waiting at the marina gate, locked out, so Brian or Lou let him in, and came back with Dan and two women dressed like porn pirates. Not good. I was expecting them to break out a bottle of Jagermeister. I made a faux pas right at the start when I accidentally mentioned that I'd seen the blonde's work in Dan's homemade porn collection. And it only went downhill from there...
JUST as we were ready to cast-off, Sebastian, the boat's former co-owner and all-around Zeig Heil jackass, comes sauntering up the dock with his superior aryan race grin and climbs aboard.
Passenger count on the 28' boat is now at 9, and we missed our start time. So, the only person on the boat who actually knows how to sail is Lou, but he doesn't even bother trying to correct Sebastian's captaining. Dan's okay, I can jibe, tack, and man the tiller passably, but I think Bev can sail better than any of the drunks on board. Dan, Lou, and I sail very well together.
Lou gave it a name. The vibe was all wrong. The mix of crowds was not good. Bev and I spent most of the night on the bow, ignoring the skank sisters and trying to avoid Sebastian. He made me cry, but I can't remember why (there was bourbon). Lou spent a few minutes concoling me on the bow. Unfortunately, my self-imposed exile also meant that I got no Dan Time.
Next time I RSVP for the Duck Dodge, I want a passenger list in advance. It was such a let down. I love sailing when it's just me, Dan, Lou, and Pancho (Dan's libidinous mutt).
Since Dan was running late (with good reason - he was doing the parental hand-off on Beacon Hill), we decided to wait, then Brian got a voicemail that Dan was waiting at the marina gate, locked out, so Brian or Lou let him in, and came back with Dan and two women dressed like porn pirates. Not good. I was expecting them to break out a bottle of Jagermeister. I made a faux pas right at the start when I accidentally mentioned that I'd seen the blonde's work in Dan's homemade porn collection. And it only went downhill from there...
JUST as we were ready to cast-off, Sebastian, the boat's former co-owner and all-around Zeig Heil jackass, comes sauntering up the dock with his superior aryan race grin and climbs aboard.
Passenger count on the 28' boat is now at 9, and we missed our start time. So, the only person on the boat who actually knows how to sail is Lou, but he doesn't even bother trying to correct Sebastian's captaining. Dan's okay, I can jibe, tack, and man the tiller passably, but I think Bev can sail better than any of the drunks on board. Dan, Lou, and I sail very well together.
Lou gave it a name. The vibe was all wrong. The mix of crowds was not good. Bev and I spent most of the night on the bow, ignoring the skank sisters and trying to avoid Sebastian. He made me cry, but I can't remember why (there was bourbon). Lou spent a few minutes concoling me on the bow. Unfortunately, my self-imposed exile also meant that I got no Dan Time.
Next time I RSVP for the Duck Dodge, I want a passenger list in advance. It was such a let down. I love sailing when it's just me, Dan, Lou, and Pancho (Dan's libidinous mutt).
No comments:
Post a Comment